Overcoming Envy: How to Rejoice in Others’ Success—and Unlock Your Own Potential!

Imagine this: Your best friend just landed a dream job you secretly wanted. You congratulate them, but inside, you feel a little sting. Sound familiar? Almost everyone has felt envy at some point—sometimes even when we know it’s not helpful. But what if you could turn that pang of jealousy into motivation and genuine happiness for others, sparking your own growth in the process?

Discovering the Secret: Why We Feel Envy (and What To Do About It)

Envy isn’t something to be ashamed of—it’s a normal human emotion, explained by both psychological research and timeless wisdom. Studies show that when we compare ourselves to others, we can feel either inspired or discouraged, depending on our mindset. Jewish teachings echo this, acknowledging our instinct to compare but encouraging us to respond with empathy and joy for others.

In the Torah, we’re taught, “Rejoice with those who rejoice” (Pirkei Avot). This ancient advice gets a modern boost from psychology: Research from the University of California shows that actively celebrating someone else amplifies your own happiness. In fact, the ability to genuinely be happy for others is linked to greater life satisfaction and resilience!

A Story to Inspire: Becoming the Person Who Lifts Others Higher

Consider this parable shared in Torah Live’s courses: A boy admires his neighbor’s brand-new car, a gift from his brother. Rather than wishing he could get a car too, the boy changes his perspective and says, “I wish I could be a brother like that”—someone who lifts others up. In a touching twist, he later carries his own little brother with polio to see the car, dreaming of one day being able to make life easier for him. This is a vivid example of turning envy into positive action.

The Wisdom of Our Sages—And Modern Science

Jewish sources warn that envy “rots the bones,” but they also offer a powerful alternative: gratitude and trust that everyone’s unique journey has its purpose. Studies from Brandeis and Toronto Universities find that positivity doesn’t just feel good—it rewires your brain to see new possibilities!

• Positivity and gratitude expand your worldview, making it easier to see others’ blessings as reminders of abundance, not lack.
• People who practice celebrating others are more creative and handle setbacks better.
• Judaism teaches that which you appreciate in others becomes a source of blessing in your own life. (See the teachings of Rabbi Chaim of Volozhin and others.)

Action Steps: How to Turn Envy Into Empowerment

Ready to try it out? Here are some practical steps you can take—no superpowers required:

1. Catch the Feeling Early: Next time envy pops up, pause and name it. Simply noticing the feeling is empowering and normalizes it.
2. Flip the Narrative: Ask yourself, “What can I learn or be inspired by here?” Your friend’s success, for example, might show that your own goals are possible.
3. Celebrate Out Loud: Send a message or praise someone publicly. Science shows that expressing happiness for others out loud increases your own joy!
4. Journal a Win—for Them! Write down one thing you’re genuinely happy for in someone else’s life. This creates new neural pathways for happiness and gratitude.
5. Revisit Your Own Blessings: Take inventory of things you value in your life. Studies cited above show this counteracts feelings of scarcity.

Transitions take practice, but every step counts. As you get better at switching envy for celebration, you’ll notice your mood lifts—and so does your ability to reach your long-term goals.

Inspiring Takeaway—And a Challenge for You!

Jewish wisdom teaches us that the greatest way to unlock blessing is to become a source of joy for others. When you genuinely rejoice in someone else's success, you become the type of person who others want to celebrate, too!

Just imagine what your day, your week, or your whole community would look like if you started spreading this kind of positive energy. Are you willing to be a force for good?

Ready to Make Every Day Brighter?

Want more uplifting wisdom, challenge games, and clean and inspiring videos? Sign up now for free Torah Live content—including videos, games, and exciting challenges that are 100% clean, 100% fun! Click here to join Torah Live for free!