Start the Conversation: The Power of Greeting Others First

Have you ever passed someone by and wondered, Who will say hello first? Perhaps you've felt a moment of awkwardness, hesitancy or even pride — waiting for the other person to take the plunge and offer a greeting. It's a small moment, but the decision to reach out or remain silent can set the tone for your day, your relationships, and even your sense of self-worth.

Why are we so hesitant to be the first to greet? Psychology tells us that we often fear rejection, or simply feel self-conscious. There can even be a dash of pride: Why should I say hello if they haven't noticed me? Studies show that when people break this invisible barrier and initiate positivity, it leads to a boost in well-being — for both the giver and the receiver. Researchers have found that the simple act of greeting someone, especially with a smile, can spark a positive ripple effect throughout your day.

Jewish Wisdom: Be First to Greet

The Mishnah in Pirkei Avos teaches, "Be the first to greet every person." Our Sages understood human nature: our natural reluctance to make the first move. But they also recognized how powerful it is when we go beyond that hesitation. Just imagine — you could uplift someone who feels invisible, transform an acquaintance into a friend, or create an atmosphere of joy in your home, school, or community.

Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai, a renowned sage, never missed an opportunity to greet others — no matter how busy, tired, or important he was. Even when he had weighty communal responsibilities, he was famous for acknowledging everyone, from friends to total strangers. It was his way of saying: You matter. As one memorable story goes, a rabbi who always greeted his German neighbor Herr Muller with a warm "Good morning" was shown unexpected kindness by that same neighbor during the dark days of World War II — a powerful example of how a simple daily greeting can leave an unforgettable mark.

From Silence to Connection: The Psychology of Hello

What happens when nobody makes the first move? Relationships can remain cool, or even fall apart, over years of silence. Think of teachers and students, rabbis and communities, even friends and family — each side waiting for the other to break the ice. Yet behind every silent moment, there’s often a mutual craving for connection.

Modern research echoes this wisdom. Psychologists say that initiating greetings is one of the quickest ways to build trust and lower barriers. A warm "Hi, how are you?" can defuse tension and make everyone feel included — whether it's at work, in school, or just waiting in line at the store.

Action Steps: Your Turn to Shine

• Challenge yourself today: Choose three people you normally pass by — a bus driver, a security guard, someone in your class or office. Offer a friendly hello and notice what happens to their face (and yours!).
• Turn it into a habit: Catch yourself in those moments of hesitation. Instead of waiting, decide to be the first to greet. Over time, this becomes second nature.
• Model it for others: If you're a parent, teacher, or leader, your greetings set the tone. Kids in particular learn the habit of kindness when they see it modeled every day.

Remember, you don't need to be in a great mood to say hello. Sometimes, putting on a smile can lift your spirits as much as anyone else's!

From Ancient Wisdom to Everyday Joy

The Torah’s timeless lesson is clear: the willingness to reach out first makes society warmer and kinder. And the benefits are both psychological and spiritual — you’ll find yourself feeling more connected, less isolated, and more open to joy.

Ready to transform your world, one greeting at a time? The ripple effect of your simple hello can brighten hearts, open doors, and even change destinies.

Want more inspiring, 100% clean, and 100% fun Torah content? Sign up for free at Torah Live — and get videos, games, and challenges delivered straight to your inbox. Start your journey of positivity today!